Life's Short - Make it count

This was last week's lesson. My grandmother was admitted to the hospital for Pneumonia. Only it wasn't Pneumonia that was the main issue. It's the cancer they subsequently found. And as someone who works with cancer patients daily the diagnosis in and of itself is not necessarily the scary part. But the talk of treatable vs. curable, large masses, metastatic disease, and a jump straight to chemotherapy scare me to tears.



I'm nearly 29 so I know I'm fortunate to still have 3 of my 4 grandparents around. And I understand that people don't live forever and while no one has given us an arbitrary amount of time - no matter how long its not enough. And illness doesn't knock on your door and say "Is now good for you? I'd really like to shake your world upside down." You can't tell it "No. Sorry you'll have to come back another time because I just got my life back together and I'm on a treatment that might finally work and I haven't had kids yet and they need to meet her and I prefer it was with her hair all there."

Never did I think that someday I'd be giving advice to my Grandma about how to handle a chronic illness. And maybe that's part of why I have to go through mine - to be able to understand and support and empathize with others. As she talked about the fear and the exhaustion I understood in a way I couldn't possible know 20 months ago. I agreed it was hard to get people to understand that what you could do a few weeks ago you are no longer capable of. And I was not embarrassed for her as she wavered between tears and resolve because that happens too and its OKAY.

My cousin called me and his first words were "Rhiannon, I don't know how to feel about this. I don't know how to go about the rest of my day." And my brilliant response? "We just have to do the best we can do and be the best people we can be and continue making Grandma proud." And after some of his resolve wavered so did mine, somehow we were able to get off the phone both of us feeling better. Even more though was my Grandma's response "I'm so happy he called you it makes me proud to know you have each other." We've been doing a pretty good job of making Life count. And that gives me some strength as we gear up for this next battle.