As I type this I'm sitting with the kids and the hubby watching America's Got Talent. We needed this night to just chill because we have been in constant motion for the last 2 months. I caanot believe that we are coming up to the 6 month mark on children being in our house. When I stop to think about where I was a year ago with my illness, with my career, with my family I almost can't believe that I am here. In this life, with these people. I always thought getting sick would be the hardest year of my life, but I have to say that as tough and challenging as it was this year has been by far the HARDEST.
I have experience all new levels of pain. Losing my Grandma has been unbelievably tough and the greif still catches me off guard. Taking in these children and learning about the AWFUL, AWFUL abuses that they have suffered at the hands of others has made me physically ill. And the fear that one day someone is going to tell me I can never see them agian has gripped me and not let go.
But in this pain there has been joy. So much joy that I wasn't expecting that it makes me feel almost as if its not real. It is because of this joy and laughter that I feel I've been able to cope with the tough stuff.
