I have a lot to say

But all of my energy went into writing a Eulogy last week and quite honestly I'm spent.

My lovely Grandmother Carolyn passed away the day before Thanksgiving. I knew I loved her when she was alive I guess I didn't realize exactly how much until she was gone.

The doctor probably never had a patient so relieved to be told they had ringworm. And the irony is that I probably got it at the gym. Most people would probably not have picked it up but since I have no immune system I did. He gave me some creams and already its going away. My follow up visit is the same week the other guy got me in for my 1st appointment. Confirmation that I made the right decision.

A large portion of my weekend is going to be devouted to Sarcoidosis. I am attending a Patient Conference tomorrow which I'm really looking forward to. To hear physicians (including my own) discuss the cutting edge information of the field will be great. And on Sunday then we will be going through insurance stuff which is causing a big headache. For whatever reason my insurance has decided to be unhelpful with the doctors who were trying to alieviate my pain.

We also have some fun things going on. Tonight I am going to see Cake Boss - Buddy Valastro from TLC demonstrate baking and cake decorating. YEAH!!! This is a show my husband and I watch religiously and his family and traditions remind me a lot of my own family.

Saturday we have an Italian Dinner at my Grandparent's church and I'll get to see my Grandpa Auctioneer which is always a ton of fun. (We used to run an auction house as a family and I have a lot of fun memories of those times.) My Grandma's Siblings are coming to see her for the first time since her diagnosis so I probably won't get to see her.

And Sunday I have a baby shower for a friend of mine. I'm so excited for her and her husband and the shower will be a lot of fun.

"I'll take Other Specialists for $300 please Alex"

So we had an amazing vacation. When I have a moment I'll upload some very inticing pictures. And while the beginning of the week started off pretty well I gained back some of the weight I had lost. (At someone point I was tired of giving my husband more than 1/2 of the yumminess.)

The day or two before we left I noticed this little bump on the inside of my right thigh. I thought maybe it was just irritation from the gym shorts I had on. Until it started to spread. And itch like crazy. And on vacation it got worse. So I came home and had to make an appointment with a dermatologist.

I have seen two dermatologists in the past. The one office is now gone and the other guy I didn't care for. I saw them for an allergic reaction to fake nails and can no longer wear nail polish on my hands. So imagine my dissapointment when the highly recommended dermatologist didn't take my insurance plan...So I had to go searching for someone in network.

Now some might say I'm jumping the gun that my primary doctor could treat me. Yes she could treat me but I want this biopsied. If it is the Cutaneous Sarcoidosis that I suspect it is I want to know for sure. Additionally, we have a family history of skin cancer and I want to make sure that I'm watching that carefully.

I put in my search parameters - 5 miles Nada. 10 miles - 4 doctors. The guy I didn't like the guy who has no degree information listed and 2 other doctors. I call the first one because their office is listed around the corner from where I work and he's on staff at the hospital I go to. Girl #1 answers - Oh I don't know if he treats that let me transfer you. Girl#2 - yes he treats that but I don't know when he'll be in that office. Girl#3 - Umm we can see you Dec 1st but why didn't Girl#1 make the appointment?? He's there every other week otherwise you can drive an hour to come see us. Ok fine. He is a specialist I expect a wait. You know because the Botox is really important to some people and a potential autoimmune lesion should go 3 weeks without treatment.
I'm sorry thats not the response we were looking for.

So I googled the other doctor. Umm HELLOOO Gorgeous People. It appears to be a husband and wife practice and they could be in an Italian Fashion house Ad. I admit I rolled my eyes. So I call not expecting anything better. Girl#1 answers. Answers all my questions. Yes he sees these symptoms frequently. Yes we take your insurance. (Wait you aren't going to transfer me???)

How soon could I be seen?

DAILY DOUBLE!!! Doo do doo do do doo do (You know the theme song)

How is this Thursday 3:30PM?


Who is my new Dermatologist!!

No Pain No Gain (Or Loss)

7.5 lbs lost so far. And let me tell you I'm feeling every fiber in my arm muscles today. Literally, I can't lift my elbows higher than my chest. And we won't even begin to discuss how much my ass hurts. The incline on the tredmill was 10.0. And I must make funny faces because my trainer kept laughing at me. My muscles were so tired last night it was impossible to wash my hair. Or style it this AM so its up in a clip and I don't care how I look. Well I do... but not about my hair. I'm leaving on vacation tomorrow and I don't want to be at work. Plus I'm a little queesy due to my headache despite my hour of acupuncture this am so maybe I'm also a little crabby.

I'm not sure why we booked a 9:00AM flight but maybe that will mean we'll be able to hit a park or see friends for dinner tomorrow night. Or laze by the pool because its supposed to be 85 in Florida tomorrow and it was 32 this AM in Chicago. If we had rain we could have had snow. Or take a really nice nap - in fresh sheets on an enormous bed.

But here is my dilemna - what shoes to bring. I'm not a "shoe person" like my Mom and Sister in Law are. That being said though we are bringing just our carry ons and I'm concerned I'm not going to have enough room for my shoes. I want to bring my shape ups and gym shoes but then I need flip flops and flats to match my Snow White Costume. Thats 4 pairs! Craziness. The nice thing about staying at our timeshare is we have a washer and dryer in unit so we don't have to bring 7 outfits. But I do have to bring work out clothes. The entire trip is planned around eating so in order not to backslide I have to get out of bed and hit the gym before we go to the park.

We are very much looking forward to this trip. Aside from our honeymoon this is the first real vacation we have taken by ourselves. I don't count blizzards as vacation - unless they are the kind in a cup. We mapped out our days and even decided to thrown in a trip to Universal Studios and Medieval Times - all bought with timeshare points! I've lived within 20 minutes of a Medieval Times for 15+ years and have never been! So have a good week and I'll be back with lots of yummy looking pictures of food and wine (and tequila).

I did good!

So apparently 80 lbs might be too lofty of a goal! And that didn't come from me. It came from the trainer. And at my 1st personal training session last night my trainer Patrick told me I did good and I'm not as out of shape as I thought I was.

WOAH! Seriously?? Yeah me. So I just thought I'd share. That and I lost 5lbs in the last 3 weeks! And I'm actually looking forward to going to the gym tonight.

Biggest Loser

So I've decided to share my goals with my blogger friends. I talked about trying to look good when you don't FEEL good and I'm hoping this latest committment to myself will halp me look AND feel good. I am loosing (catch the positive affirmation there?) 80 pounds. By The end of May when we go to Walt Disney World with my husband's family. Short term is 20 pounds by our December trip to Las Vegas. I have some halter tops in my closet I'd like to wear when we go.

So how do I plan on getting there? Well I'm using weightwatchers.com to track my points and activity. I rejoined Lifetime Fitness. I'm in not 1 but 2 Biggest Loser Contests. One at work that goes until the week before Thanksgiving and another with My husband, and his Sister and her boyfriend. This one goes until the trip and the prize is $360. At the moment I'm not that excited about the money. My drive is coming from the ability to shop in stores I've never shopped in as an adult. To go into the Disney shops and pick out any sweatshirt I want and not worry if its going to fit.

I took a picture of me from my sophmore year soccer uniform and put it as my walpaper on my cell phone. The original went up on the refridgerator. Thats the other part - I'm only buying healthy nutritious food.

I've put in my planner the fitness classes I want to take - such as Latin Fusion (seriously this kicked my butt last week we crunk'd, can-can'd, jai ho'd, and macarena'd our way through 60 minutes. I take my gym bag with me and have an extra change of clotehs in it just in case. I also got up on Sunday BEFORE friends came over to work out.

And while I would love to hire a trainor my free sessions are just going to have to do for now.

My biggest challenge is going to be going to the Disney Food and Wine Festival in 11 days. But we are going to work out in the morning and wear our shape-up to the parks. Who knows maybe I'll find some healthy food that I love that I would not have tried.

So please cheer me on. As i'm taking this part of my health back. I may not be able to will the Sarcoid into remission but I can will myself back into a size 10 jean.

Cheerful Outfit

Yesterday I had this awesome encounter with a patient of ours. He needed help with some insurance claims which means I'm the person who would help him. I walked in the treatment room and he STOOD to great me. His wife said "Oh! You're the person I spoke with on the phone. So nice to meet you." This patient had a partial nephrectomy for kidney cancer. Turns out his son took out a cancer policy for this "just in case". Thats such a cheerful outfit! You've been so helpful. We appreciate all that you do! I was glowing by the time I was finished. I went off to lunch on a cloud! And it got me thinking - Am I that kind of patient. Am I complimentary enough to people who do their job correctly? Do I remember them and tell them so. Do they leave feeling euphoria after interacting with me? Or do I wallow in chronic illness and need to take a lesson from the cancer people who seem to always have the best outlook? I had a guy tell me "This should be fun.'" in a very sincere voice after I collected $2000 from him for Prostate Cancer surgery. I know this morning I had a nice chat about tequila with my acupuncture doctor. And his staff is always sweet and compliments my wardrobe. But I see them every week. When I was first diagnosed with Neurosarcoid I read the book "Model Patient" by Karen Duffy. It was a great point of view for me to read but certainly not everyone will get her humor. She talks about trying to look nice and be nice and really OWN your illness. Good advice.

So I always try to LOOK good when I don't feel good. Sometimes this is easier said than done. Especially, since I often can't wear make-up (which makes me feel pretty) due to my dry eye issue. (Which hopefully will be fixed tomorrow as we are trying new eye plugs.) But I try to look as put together as I can. How about you?